Date:  Thu, 11 Apr 1996 14:36:22 -0600

From:  Ellen Johnson <EJOHNSON[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]MSUVX1.MEMPHIS.EDU>

Subject: story, part 2



forwarded from dlpatton[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]cc.memphis.edu

>From: UMEM::DLPATTON   11-APR-1996 14:24:18.09

>Subj: sequel

>

>Here is the sequel to the Demonstratives

>

>              NOUNSENSE

>

>    On the opposite side of Drearyville from the Demonstratives lived the

>Noun family. There were Mr. Case, Ms. Gender (she kept her maiden name), and

>Aunt Number along with her four children. One day, the entire family was

>meandering through the hills on the way to a picnic while singing "The Hills

>are Alive with the Sound of Progressive Simplification," when along came a

>giant spaceship! Two alien robots emerged named Chaucer 1 and Syncopated Jim.

>Chaucer 1 ordered Mr. Case to empty the picnic basket and hand over the

>contents. Mr. Case emptied all the Dative singulars except for a few into the

>robot's hands. The remaining ones were in the basket so long that they became

>petrified.

>    Syncopated Jim went through Mr. Case's pockets and stole all his weak

>"es's," but accidentally dropped the s's back into the pocket. Chaucer 1

>retreated back into the spaceship to visit the little robot's room,, so

>Syncopated Jim continued to take over. He pointed a laser gun at Ms. Gender and

>levelled the psychological and phonetic aspects of her grammatical gender by

>destroying her inflectional endings.

>    That takes us to Aunt Number and Children 1, 2, 3, and 4. After

>Syncopated Jim had taken care of Ms. Gender, two robot dogs came beeping out of

>the spaceship. Their names were Masculine A and Neuter A. (Neuter A is no

>longer able to procreate!) They had vacuum-like mouths that absorbed Middle

>English nouns into their declensions. The children were left alone because

>they each had a good excuse for why they shouldn't be absorbed. Child 1 said

>that his declension compromised umlaut plural. Child 2 said that she had

>neuter monosyllables with long stems having unchanged, or apparently unchanged,

>plurals. Child 3 said that he had an N-stem and weak declension. Finally,

>Child 4 said that he had double plurals. They grew up and lived happily ever

>after in Modern Englishville.

>

>THE END.

>

>See you Sunday!

>

>Dana