Date: Tue, 9 Jan 1996 21:54:03 -0800

From: R Mckinzey rkm[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]SLIP.NET

Subject: Vowels, et al



My cousin just sent this and I thought y'all might get a chuckle or two out

of it as well. Rima



CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS TO BOSNIA



Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients



Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton

announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of

Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will

provide the region with the critically needed letters A, E, I, O, and U, and

is

hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable.



"For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and

Glrm

have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Clinton said.

"Today, the United States must finally stand up and say 'Enough.' It is time

the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words.

The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavor."



The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Storm by the State Department, is set

for

early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated

to

be the first recipients. Two C-130 transport planes, each carrying over 500

24-count boxes of "E's," will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the

Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.



Citizens of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels.



"My God, I do not think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnijkln, 44, said.

"I have six children and none of them has a name that is understandable to me

or

to anyone else. Mr. Clinton, please send my poor, wretched family just one

'E.'

Please."



Said Sjlbvdnzv resident Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I could

be

George Humphries. This is my dream."



The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a foreign

country

since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped 92,000 consonants

to

Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aao with vital,

life-giving supplies of L's S's and T's.