Date:  Tue, 9 Jan 1996 21:54:03 -0800

From:  R Mckinzey <rkm[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]SLIP.NET>

Subject: Vowels, et al



My cousin just sent this and I thought y'all might get a chuckle or two out

of it as well. Rima

>

><<CLINTON DEPLOYS VOWELS TO BOSNIA

>

>Cities of Sjlbvdnzv, Grzny to Be First Recipients

>

>Before an emergency joint session of Congress yesterday, President Clinton

>announced US plans to deploy over 75,000 vowels to the war-torn region of

>Bosnia. The deployment, the largest of its kind in American history, will

>provide the region with the critically needed letters A, E, I, O, and U, and

>is

>hoped to render countless Bosnian names more pronounceable.

>

>"For six years, we have stood by while names like Ygrjvslhv and Tzlynhr and

>Glrm

>have been horribly butchered by millions around the world," Clinton said.

>"Today, the United States must finally stand up and say 'Enough.' It is time

>the people of Bosnia finally had some vowels in their incomprehensible words.

>The US is proud to lead the crusade in this noble endeavor."

>

>The deployment, dubbed Operation Vowel Storm by the State Department, is set

>for

>early next week, with the Adriatic port cities of Sjlbvdnzv and Grzny slated

>to

>be the first recipients. Two C-130 transport planes, each carrying over 500

>24-count boxes of "E's," will fly from Andrews Air Force Base across the

>Atlantic and airdrop the letters over the cities.

>

>Citizens of Grzny and Sjlbvdnzv eagerly await the arrival of the vowels.

>

>"My God, I do not think we can last another day," Trszg Grzdnijkln, 44, said.

>"I have six children and none of them has a name that is understandable to me

>or

>to anyone else. Mr. Clinton, please send my poor, wretched family just one

>'E.'

>Please."

>

>Said Sjlbvdnzv resident Grg Hmphrs, 67: "With just a few key letters, I could

>be

>George Humphries. This is my dream."

>

>The airdrop represents the largest deployment of any letter to a foreign

>country

>since 1984. During the summer of that year, the US shipped 92,000 consonants

>to

>Ethiopia, providing cities like Ouaouoaua, Eaoiiuae, and Aao with vital,

>life-giving supplies of L's S's and T's.>>>>

>