Date: Fri, 9 Jan 1998 13:57:56 EST From: CLAndrus Subject: Fwd: Kenneth and Patricia Langen : Rules Grammar Change This is a multi-part message in MIME format. --part0_884372275_boundary Content-ID: <0_884372275[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]inet_out.mail.aol.com.1> Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII I thought everyone would enjoy this piece. Hope no one objects. Carol Andrus --part0_884372275_boundary Content-ID: <0_884372275[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]inet_out.mail.aol.com.2> Content-type: message/rfc822 Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit Content-disposition: inline Return-Path: Received: from relay31.mail.aol.com (relay31.mail.aol.com [172.31.109.31]) by air06.mail.aol.com (v37.8) with SMTP; Thu, 08 Jan 1998 01:47:51 -0500 Received: from x15.boston.juno.com (x15.boston.juno.com [205.231.100.28]) by relay31.mail.aol.com (8.8.5/8.8.5/AOL-4.0.0) with ESMTP id BAA20908 for ; Thu, 8 Jan 1998 01:39:12 -0500 (EST) Received: (from maryanneraphael[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]juno.com) by x15.boston.juno.com (queuemail) id BmU21710; Thu, 08 Jan 1998 01:38:59 EST To: CLAndrus[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]AOL.COM Date: Wed, 7 Jan 1998 22:40:26 -0800 Subject: Kenneth and Patricia Langen : Rules Grammar Change Message-ID: <19980107.224053.3982.3.maryanneraphael[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]juno.com> X-Mailer: Juno 1.49 X-Juno-Line-Breaks: 0-75 From: maryanneraphael[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]juno.com (maryanne j raphael) Content-type: text/plain; charset=US-ASCII Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit --------- Begin forwarded message ---------- From: Kenneth and Patricia Langen To: maryanne Subject: Rules Grammar Change Date: Wed, 07 Jan 1998 22:20:43 -0800 Message-ID: <34B4703B.6FD6[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]sdcoe.k12.ca.us> Hi Maryanne! Thought you would want to know about the new changes in the language laws! Rules Grammar Change WASHINGTON, DC--The U.S. Grammar Guild Monday announced that no more will traditional grammar rules English follow. Instead there will a new form of organizing sentences be. U.S. Grammar Guild according to, the new structure loosely on an obscure 800-year-old, pre-medieval Anglo-Saxon syntax is based. The syntax primarily verbs, verb clauses and adjectives at the end of sentences placing involves. Results this often, to ears American, a sentence backward appearing. "Operating under we are, one major rule," said Joyce Watters, president of the U.S. Grammar Guild. "Make English, want we, more archaic and dignified sounding to be, as if every word coming from the tongue of a centuries-old, mystical wizard, is." Brief pause Watters made then a. "Know I, know I," said she. "Confusing sounds it, but every American used to it soon will be." At a press conference recent greeted warmly the new measure by President Clinton was. "No longer will we adhere to the dull, predictable structure of our traditional grammar system. This nation will now begin speaking, writing and listening to something fresh, exciting and different," said Clinton. "Excuse me," added he pause long after a. "Meant I, the dull, predictable system our traditional grammar of adhere to no longer will we. Speaking, writing and listening to something fresh, exciting and different will this nation now begin." This week beginning, America across, all dictionaries, thesauruses and any other books or objects with any sort of writing upon it or in it revised to fit the new syntax will be. Libraries assure people wish to that the transition promptly begin will, but that patient people should be, as so much to change there is. "Feel good it will make people to know for all these changes that, librarians cold, crabby and as paranoid and overprotective of their books and periodicals as ever remain will," said Yvonne Richter, Director of the Library of Congress. The enthusiasm of government officials despite, many Americans about the new plan upset are. "Why in the world did they do this?" a New Canaan, CT, insurance salesman, said Brent Pryce. "There's absolutely no reason. It's utterly pointless and will cause total chaos throughout the country, not to mention the fact that it will cost billions of dollars to implement. And what's this U.S. Grammar Guild, anyway? I've never heard of it." When of this complaint informed, government officials that they could not the man's words understand said, because of the strange, unintelligible way of speaking he was. from theonion.com --------- End forwarded message ---------- --part0_884372275_boundary--