Date: Sun, 23 Oct 1994 10:02:00 CDT
From: Edward Callary TB0EXC1[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]NIU.BITNET
Subject: no combines on the blacktop
This morning I noticed the following sign on Lincoln
Highway, the main drag thru DeKalb, Il. I offer it to
the list not so much to ask but to share with other lovers
of the mysterious uses of the English language a
particularly beautiful example of something, though I'm
not quite sure what.
The sign reads:
CONSTRUCTION
TRANSPORTED
IMPLEMENTS OF
HUSBANDRY OVER 8FT 6IN
WIDE PROHIBITED
I'm not even sure what this means. My first reading is a quite
literal 'Farm Implements which are themselves over 8ft 6in wide
and are being transported, i.e., carried on flat bed trucks
or the like are prohibited.' And yet, this is a sight rarely
seen in this area. The 'Implements of Husbandry' are most
often driven or pulled from one job to the next. This would
make the reading something like: 'No farm implements over 8ft
6in wide permitted.'
The only I have would be speculative: do you think anyone
concerned would be able to correctly interpret the sign on
first reading?
Have you come across other examples of ponderous writing which
most probably in this case originated in the brain of a
Springfield bureaucrat rather than in that of a concerned farmer?
Yours for greater pomposity,
Edward Callary