Date: Thu, 3 Oct 1996 13:30:50 -0600
From: Luanne von Schneidemesser lvonschn[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]FACSTAFF.WISC.EDU
Subject: Re: New word? playdate
In message Thu, 3 Oct 1996 10:54:57 -0400,
"M. Lynne Murphy" 104LYN[AT SYMBOL GOES HERE]MUSE.ARTS.WITS.AC.ZA writes:
at least a little sheltered. this goes back at least 5 years (when
my friends started having kids), but i would guess longer. i've only
heard it with reference to pre-schoolers. the phenomenon of
playdates i associate with the social changes that have resulted in
women not having kids at the same times as their friends or not
having women friends living near them--so the playdate is a sort of
artificial substitute for the former type of more casual interaction
w/ other families. so, when i was a kid, my mom didn't arrange
playdates--she took me along to her koffee klatch (or bridge game or
whatever) and put me in the backyard w/ the other kids. but
nowadays, the playdate focus is on the kids--you make a playdate for
your kids, but you and the other parent are there. so, that's
another relevant feature of playdates--it's not the same as sending
the kid to someone else's house to play--parents of both kids are
there. to some extent they do serve the purpose of koffee klatches
(or however you're supposed to misspell that)--letting the parents
(usu. moms) get some parenting support. the twist is that the focus
is on the kids, so helps to relieve abstract parental guilts as
well.
My kids, born 1982 and 1984, had playdates with other kids, but it basically
was nothing but getting together to play with them as I did with other kids
when I was young -- the difference was that my children lived in a neighborhood
with few children, so that the other parent or I had to drive one of the kids
to the other kid's house. These were usually other children from preschool
or school (this was not just a neighborhood school, but a paired school,
one combined with another so that minority balance could be maintained).
Parents of both kids were usually not there, however. I dropped the child
off and picked him or her up later.
Luanne von Schneidemesser
Dictionary of American Regional English
6129 H.C. White Hall, 600 N. Park St.
University of Wisconsin-Madison
Madison WI 53706
(608) 263-2748